A Tale of Two Nobodies
by Q. Fuller
Summary: My stay at TWTNW. I pick fights, pick on Demyx and Luxord, and get laid.Chapter 3 & 4 are up. Saix & I get pwned, and I learn about Larxene's life before me. Not much anyways. Plus I get laid again. Also some things won't make sense, so be prepared now.
1. Intros

Intros

Intros.

Everyone gathered in the TV room. "What's this all about Xemnas?" Saix walked through the doorway, even though he could have teleported in.

"With the arrival of Larxene, we can continue." The gravelly low voice of Xemnas rolled forth.

"Get on with it." Axel chimed in from the back.

"May I?" A black glove tapped Xemnas on the shoulder. A nobody that had never been seen before stood behind Xemnas.

"My name is Velnox. I lost my heart, or rather gave up my heart after being pushed to a point I won't discuss. I'm just saying that if you mess with me, I'll kill you. And that's no empty threat. I mutilated some random nobody outside because I didn't like how it looked at me. Literally, it twitched at me wrong, and I stabbed it in the face; or whatever face there's supposed to be."

The young boy was in his late teens to early adulthood. "So, needless to say I'll need someone to show me around. Any volunteers?" He crossed his arms as a dark portal opened, and Larxene stumbled out.

"Demyx! How many times do I have to tell you? The dark corridors are not an excuse for cleaning your room!" Velnox rubbed his chin. Dirty thoughts were already forming in his head. "Would that involve the chains?" He thought.

"I didn't give you permission to speak. Here in 'The World that Never Was' I am the boss. You may have been a nobody for a really long time, but I still call the shots." Xemnas scolded Velnox.

"Well, you know what? If I didn't think you'd kick me out, I'd kill you." Velnox pointed Xemnas in the face, tapping his nose. Axel, Xigbar, Luxord, Lexeaus, and Demyx all burst out laughing at Xemnas' unmitigated pwnage. "Now, I'm going to my room before I slit everybody's non-existing throats. Somebody say something." He just opened a portal and faded from sight.

"Oh great another homicidal maniac." Vexen rolled his eyes.

"Oooohh you got dissed…burrrrnedddd." Axel jeered from the back.

Just before he entered the portal, Velnox glared at Larxene. It wasn't one of those "I'm coming after you because you're the only girl" look. It was more like an "I'll kill you if you even BREATHE at me look." In the two seconds Velnox and Larxene stared at each other, 15 million lives entered and blinked out of existence and THAT'S the last you'll hear of them

"What's his damage?" Larxene asked Marluxia. He shrugged and got up. The role of Marluxia will not be utilized in this story; so from here on out, Marluxia will be filled by P. Diddy, because I'm the writer and I feel like it.

"Well… I guess that's all" Xemnas disappeared as well.

"This was a waste of time." Saix got up.

"I hate you all. I'm going back to my room." Zexion followed Saix out of the room; as did Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexeaus, Demyx, and P. Diddy, who was doing the "Harlem Shake" as he walked out in his "Vote or Die" shirt. (lol, shameless plugging. Voting and rappers? What will I think of next)

"Well who's up for a night of binge drinking?" Luxord rubbed his hands together.

Velnox's POV

"What a bunch of 'tards." I thought unpacking my things. I obviously wasn't kicked out by my previous comments, because Xemnas would have sent Sorcerers after me. Yeah, I knew about his little temper. "I can't believe he put me on the XIIIth floor. I guess I WILL have to kill him." I thought as I spread my velvet sex cover over my rotating hover bed. (A/N- In case anyone didn't catch the reference, it's from Futurama)

"Knock-Knock" Went the door.

"Great, more idiocy." I said out loud, so that the uninvited guest could hear me. Before I could even touch the knob, it blew open.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Larxene grabbed me by the collar.

"GO…AWAY!" I forcibly removed myself from her grip. It was rather flimsy. I guess it's either because she hasn't been a nobody that long, or she's just a REALLY weak nobody.

"You gave me a dirty look in the TV Room. What was it?" She grabbed her wrist, and rubbed it. I think I might have sprained it. Larxene stood up. She noticed the red velvet cover.

"Are you expecting something to happen here?" She put her hands on her waist, and stared at me.

"If I wanted it to happen, it would. You couldn't stop me anyway. I'd take what I wanted and leave you crying on the floor." I tried to unpack before she HAD to continue to speak.

Unfortunately she did. "You think I'm weak because I'm a woman?"

She grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. It seemed as if I upset her. Actually that'd be impossible as we were nobodies, and have no emotions. I just HAD to pick at her.

"Are you ANGRY?" I smiled. "Tell me, how long has it been? When was the last time someone rocked your world?" I taunted her. Her face was red with anger and embarrassment. "Do you even remember what it feels like? Can you EVEN feel anymore?" I got in her face moving slowly towards her as she backed away.

Larxene moved her left leg back. "Are you going to run away?" Velnox moved closer to her again. Larxene, instead of running, decided to try and knee him in the groin. As it moved closer, Velnox grabbed her knee and flung her to the floor.

"What are you going to do?" She trembled. My presence was a bit intimidating to her.

"Nothing." Velnox turned back to his bed. "I told you to go away." He smiled internally taking a set of handcuffs from the box. Larxene couldn't understand why that had happened. Maybe it was being overpowered, or maybe it was being rejected, but either way Larxene was attracted to him.


	2. The Friends Game: Find the Nympho

The friends game: Find the Nympho

The friends game: Find the Nympho.

It's two days later and Velnox has finally decided be social…

"So how exactly did you become nobody?" Zexion tossed me a soda from the fridge. He was interested in my story. Mainly for observational purposes, but something about him said "I'm actually trying to socialize."

"After gaining ultimate knowledge and power, I wondered what it would be like to have a nobody. It intrigued me to say the least. I wondered if having two minds separate from each other, but functioning as one, would give me some type of omnipotence or omniscient type dealie. Later, I found these reports saying that I could separate myself into more than one being. It didn't hurt that I already had knowledge of nobodies. When I awoke in Twilight Town, I had memories of my other self. So I found my other, who was being pestered by slightly stronger heartless. After dispatching them, I put the weakling in a jar with holes in the top." I smiled. It was an honest to goodness smile. Secretly, I just wanted to disturb Zexion.

O.O' Zexion looked at me like WTF? Being so apathetic all the time, I couldn't tell if he was surprised that I did that, or surprised that I COULD do that. No doubt he didn't know to do that. "Hmmm…" My creepily annoying smile faded to an annoyingly smug one.

I materialized a gun in my hand and readied to shoot. From nowhere, Larxene ran at me and jumped. I quickly pointed the gun right and shot. Sure enough, she poked her head out a portal and was shot in her shoulder.

"That's got to be annoying." Zexion rolled his eyes at her pathetic attempt to assassinate me. I could swear that inside Zexion was rofl'ing. Something about Zexion was different from what I guessed about him.

"Well yesterday, she found me taking a shower, and decided to attack me." I opened a portal and screamed into it. Yeah, I knew she was there; probably waiting for another attempt on my life. "Personally I think she just wanted to see me naked." I added insult to injury.

Larxene flew back to the portal, and fell ass first on Demyx's jacks. "OH FUCK!" She jumped up, slipped on a toy car, and landed on her back.

"Personally I think she just wanted to see me naked!" Someone said.

"What am I doing? I'm letting this newborn bother me? He's freaking two days old as a nobody. I'm way more intelligent. So why is it he gets to me?" Larxene punched the endless ground. "He treats me like I'm nothing, less than nobody. I hate him. I want to abuse, degrade, downright embarrass, and enjoy his torment. Watch out little virgin boy, I'm coming for you." Velnox looks angrily at the writer from behind the fourth wall. Larxene was talking to herself. The blonde cackled malevolently.

A couple of hours later…

Feeling very proud of herself, Larxene walked past Luxord the P.I.M.P, P. Diddy, Axel, and Demyx who were playing strip go fish. Axel and Demyx were cheating and for once putting up a hellofa bluff. P.Diddy was still fully clothed; somehow, though I'm thankful. Luxord was down to a white t-shirt and his boxers. "What the hell?" He rubbed his chin. Axel and Demyx both lost their black cloaks in good sport. Well I should say bad sport because they were cheating.

"Hey Larxene, come play with us!" Demyx shouted from behind his distastefully over packed hand. How can Luxord not notice?

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Has anyone seen that loser Velnox?" She stared at Axel's cards, and looked over to the right at Demyx.

"He should be back. He said that he had to finish something in his room." Axel's facial expression didn't change at all; neither did the tone in his voice. Larxene blinked twice watching the water bender's hand.

"Demyx, got any two's?" Luxord smiled at the blonde. Demyx looked at Axel, and Axel focused on his cards. "Go Fish." He smiled at Luxord. "I win." Luxord stood up. "You've been cheating, but I forgive you. Now drop em', it's embarrassing photo time." Luxord got out his camera.

Larxene grimaced. "Ya'll are gay." Larxene opened a portal.

Larxene's POV

I stood in his doorway wearing my custom made black dress that zips in the back. He tried to ignore me, but I made my presence known. "Velnox, I'm done. I realize you are too great to even compete with." I said in a delightfully sexy voice.

"I'm busy." He said in a cold overtone. "I don't have time to play right now." He didn't even look at me. Velnox flipped a page in his book. Was that a dirty magazine? I moved across his floor gracefully, and stopped behind him. "What?" He finally decided to look at me. He was surprised that my shoulder was hanging out.

"If you really must know, it's been three years. Two since I became nobody and a year of celibacy as my other. Won't you put me out of my misery?" I thought my acting was rather good. He seemed to enjoy it, but couldn't let himself enjoy it. Every time I moved close, he'd move away. He moved over be his dresser. "C'mon Velnox. Let's make non-existent music together" was what came out of my mouth. "I better get a good laugh out of this later" was what I was thinking.

Velnox's POV

Larxene had started the day like regular; she wanted to kill me. Three years? I could NEVER go that long… Well my somebody could, but he's not in this story. Writer looks angrily at Velnox from his side of the fourth wall. Just so you readers know; I planned this whole thing out. Larxene, as intelligent as she is, couldn't figure out my plan. Nailing her would be one of my best notches. In fact, I think I'll count her double as my other AND his girlfriend had a crush on her.

I moved over to the bed, pretending I was avoiding her. "What's on your mind monkeybutt?" I saw the perfect opportunity. My box was still sitting beside my bed from yesterday. "Whoa!" I 'tripped.' She never saw it coming. (lol Kira face) Larxene climbed on top of me before I could get up. "Seriously, two years?" I nervously chuckled. She said three, but again I was acting, so it wasn't a big thing.

"No, I said three." Larxene started kissing my neck while holding my arms. "Bingo, I'm in" I though as she worked her way to my chest.

WE MADE WHOOPEE!

XoXoXoXoXoX

Velnox: We made whoopee? I'd never say anything like that! FIX IT!  
Me: Nah, it illustrates the point, without exposing too much for the younger readers. I AM going to put this on KHI after all.  
Velnox: Change it, or I'll kill you.  
Me: Well I could edit the story and make you gay.  
Velnox: I'll be good :D

XoXoXoXoXoX

Feeling refreshed, I came downstairs a couple hours later, to find Luxord wearing boxers. Oddly enough, Demyx and Axel were naked. And for some reason or another, P. Diddy had on his trademark shirt, and FUBU underwear. I truthfully didn't want to know. "Ya'll are gay." I pointed at the naked couple.

"SHUT UP!" Axel shouted throwing a die at me from Kingdom Hearts knows where.

"Hey, where is Larxene, Velnox?" Demyx looked around to find her. I chuckled at what I did to her. Damn, I was proud of it.

"She's asleep." I responded to the younger acting man. (Heh-heh heh-heh) I rubbed my nose full of…what's the word? Uh, I want to say zeal. His eyes welled up. "You killed her? OEZ NOEZ SHE'S TAKING THE DIRT NAP!" Axel slapped the naked blonde. We had all had enough.

"Velnox" Saix came into the room behind me from I'm guessing his room. "You are new, and might be ignorant to the rules. You were making a lot of noise, and it disturbed some other residents." He remained nonchalant as usual.

"If I don't know better Saix, I'd think you were jealous." I crossed my arms. It didn't matter, he'd seen through my front. It's not that I was scared of him, I just was somewhat out of energy, and at that present moment he could have taken me out. Something told me I was going to have a problem with him in the future. No death threats...for now.

"You are right. You don't know better. Jealousy is an emotio-" I stopped him.

"Spare me the whole 'Nobodies have no emotions' speech. I heard it all before." I jazzed hands to emphasize my lack of caring. "In any case, it wasn't me who was making that noise; it was Larxene. If you're looking for her, she's sleeping on my bed." I chuckled again remembering the sadistic fun things that happened. Saix looked disgusted. He opened a portal, and left without saying a word.

"Aw, come on. You mean ALL of you have had that?" I felt dirty all of a sudden.

"It's not that." A fully clothed Axel explained. "Apparently Larxene and Saix had something a long time ago." He picked up a card from the deck. "But no, none of us have. In fact she stabbed Demyx the other day." P.I.M.P. man also known as Luxord picked up three cards.

"I place this card and end my turn." Demyx showed me the stab wound on his arm. "The only person she ever talks to was Marluxia, who disappeared a while ago when this guy appeared." Demyx placed 2 cards down and then pointer to P. Diddy.

"Voting's sexy right?" He replied and flashed his bling.

I looked at him and said "yeah" rolling my eyes. I then turned back to the hydromaniac and said "Hey Demyx, I may be new, but I'm stronger than most of you; so I'm taking your room and your number. I hereby demote you, Luxord, P. Diddy, and Larxene a number. And if you have a problem, kill me." I walked out of the room nonchalant.

"Can he do that?" Luxord and Demyx stared at each other.

"Actually, he has to challenge you. But since he has SOME sense of mercy, he let you live and demoted you. Overall I'd say you were lucky. He actually seems to be as equally matched to Xemnas and Saix." Axel turned two cards to the side long ways, and ended his turn. Luxord's right eye twitched and P.Diddy just continued to do the Harlem Shake.

A/N: Guess what children's card game they're playing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Velnox's POV

"And he just said nothing?" Zexion was rather uppity. It seemed weird for him to be able to talk to someone. "Why don't you just hang out with the others?" Velnox flipped the channels on Zexion's TV, and it landed Nickelodeon. "FAIRYGODPARENTS!" It shouted. "What are you a little kid?" Zexion's eye twitched. "My question first." I stared at him blankly. "Everyone here is stupid. I can't stand to be around their idiocy." He crossed his arms. "Well actually if you'd bother to find out, you'd know Axel is a college graduate on his world. He was studying to be an attorney. Larxene is a gifted thespian. Not only can she act, she spends a lot of her time reading. She's still a bitch though. Luxord has an advanced knowledge of Algebra. Marluxia is a botanist. And Demyx… Well you have a valid reason for hating him. See, everything isn't as black and white as you make it seem." I resumed channel flipping until I came across "Monk". "You've been here three days. How do you know all of this?" Zexion was puzzled. O.O "Uh, I gotta go!" I got up and dashed out.

"Velnox." Saix tapped my shoulder. "You, Xemnas and I need to talk." He turned back to his portal. "PMS much?" I said following him. Walking through the darkness I looked around. Saix said nothing. "So where are we REALLY going?" I eyed him suspiciously. He stopped. "You know something." Saix turned to face me. "I've been watching you since you got here, and I never saw you "hang out" with Axel. Not even once. So tell me, how do you know so much about us?" He looked somewhat confused, angry, and interested all at once. "You'll have to kill me to find out." I smiled.

Saix summoned his Claymore, and dashed at me. I quickly sidestepped, and elbowed him in the back. "No moon here Saix. Can't do your little were wolf thing." I kicked him in the ass, and summoned my second weapon; the Forge Blade. "I see why you and Zexion have become well acquainted. You're so very preoccupied with death." Saix talked to compensate for the lack of his transformation skills. "Are you willing to die for this information?" I summoned my other weapon; The Arch Blade. Both waiting, ready for me to cut Saix's non-existing body in half. "You've been here three days. You'd betray the Organization?" Saix's narrowed his eyes. It was obvious the man was aggravated.

"Fine." I smiled, putting away my weapons. "But you have to answer me something first. What was up with you and Larxene?" Saix stared at me. "I HARDLY thi-" I stopped him again. "You talk, and I talk." It looked like I had Saix by the non-existing balls.

"We were from the same world. Not just that, our somebodies we engaged. Xemnas found me instantly, but she wasn't so lucky. By the time she was found, I had realized that we have no emotions. We couldn't feel anymore, so I had no interest to continue our relationship. With the heart she doesn't have, Larxene was heartbroken, and became a bitter crow." It seemed Saix was trying to feign emotion. "Alright, don't piss yourself crybitch. Just tell me, did she take you 'round the world?" I smiled, and his face turned red. "No answer? I guess I'll leave." I opened a portal. "WAIT." He paused. "She said she wanted to wait after she was married. So we never consummated the relationship." He looked down in "embarrassment."

"I come from a world called Earth. On my home planet, this is a game." We were now in Saix's room. There is a boy named Sora, and he has a weapon called the Keyblade. He's going around the worlds, locking the Keyholes so that the heartless cannot get to them anymore. Well he eventually loses his heart and becomes a nobody. But his heartless returns to human form. Simultaneously, Marluxia recruits Larxene, Axel, and Vexen to overthrow the Organization. While Zexion and Lexeaus try to recruit Sora's best friend Riku, to destroy Marluxia. Riku dispatches Lexeaus, and Vexen creates a replica of Riku. The RR kills Zexion, and is later killed by Riku. Sora kills Larxene and Marluxia. Axel kills Vexen and saves one of Sora's nobodies. When Sora lost his heart, he had someone else's in there as well. So she had a nobody as well. Anyway, after dispatching Marluxia, Sora went to sleep to restore his memories.

Anyway, a year later Sora's nobody leaves the Organization. Xemnas sends Axel to destroy him. They're friends, but Axel doesn't go easy on him. Axel gets defeated, and the nobody remerges with Sora. Sora searches the multiverse for Riku, until Axel kidnaps Kairi. Due to your vendetta with Axel, you convince Xemnas he is a traitor, and is disbarred from the Organization. Anyway, Sora, Kairi, and Riku reunite and defeat Xigbar, Luxord, You, and Xemnas. And as I've found about most worlds, they all follow what happens on Earth. Meaning it's possible you all may die soon." I shut up after an hour of explaining. Saix was speechless. "So is Axel a traitor?" He was very confused. "Go gather everyone first, I have something to do." I opened a portal

Confusing? Yes. I just had to let it be known

"Zexion." I appeared behind him. "Things are going to be pretty tight for a while, so I have to conceal you without anyone knowing. Now I'm going to turn you into a dusk. That way, I'll know it's you. Any problems?" I looked at him angrily. Zexion shook his head and said nothing. I'd swear he was getting off on the excitement that had been happening since I've arrived. I snapped my finger, and he turned to a Dusk. Now go hide in my room under my bed, but make sure nobody sees you, or you WILL die." The Dusk saluted me, and disappeared.

Everyone gathered in the TV room. I appeared, only to find Saix was already blabbing like a schoolgirl. "So I kill Zexion?" Axel asked as I tripped on Demyx's stack of playboys. "Xemnas, do not listen to Saix. He tells lies." I smiled contradicting what I had told him earlier. "And who are you to contradict your superior?" His voice annoyed me. Sometime soon, I'ma punch him in the throat. "My Superior? I just killed Zexion, that makes me number six, correct?" I folded my arms across my chest. Xemnas turned to Saix. "He does have seniority." Saix's eyes widened. "How dare you? You used me to get information." Saix drew his claymore again. "Stand down number seven. You don't want to end up as number eleven do you? As Demyx's underling?… Too late." I smiled even more. I got a sick pleasure from tormenting Saix. The blue haired nobody became enraged.

"Everyone stay. I still have an announcement to make. Starting with new rankings:

Xemnas

Xigbar

Xaldin

Vexen

Lexeaus

Velnox

Axel

Luxord

Marluxia

Larxene

Free to be reused

Demyx

Saix

Anyone have a problem. They can come to challenge me. Any member before me, just know I have a lot of respect for you. I'd challenge Xaldin, but he's just a freaking psycho. And I don't wanna deal with that." Xaldin smiles.

"Next, I want to discuss the matter of you Xemnas." I paced around the equally dark nobody. Yes I mean skin tone "From what I hear, you've told them that they have no emotions. Am I correct?" I put my hands behind my back. "That it true, Nobodies have no emotions." Xemnas was put off by my demotion of Saix. "What are you getting at Velnox?" He just pissed me off by speaking. He eyed me carefully. I reached into my pocket, and pulled out a sheet of paper. "I Hexskia hereby do decree that Xemnas is barred from returning to the "Clan of Nobody". Furthermore, I place a ban on any male members of the "Clan of Nobody." I put the paper down. "Any plans on telling the others about this other "Organization?" I smiled. Xemnas was speechless. "Any plans on telling them that they DO have emotions?" I grilled Xemnas hard. I could tell he was going to crack. "Any plans on telling Larxene that you were having an affair with Saix?" I pointed to Saix who was now speechless too. I paused, waiting for an answer.

"Saix you son of a bitch! " Larxene stood up. "Stand DOWN number ten!" I pointed to her now. "Lastly Xemnas. Were you going to tell the rest that you sold their life story on Earth? You used the profit to buy a mansion in Twilight Town? The place you were run away to with Saix? That is how-" Suddenly I was interrupted by a Dusk chasing a Dancer. "Zexion?" Xigbar stared on in awe. "Killed?" Xemnas raised his left eyebrow. He snapped his finger. "C'mere cutie. I wanna stimulate your-" Zexion realized he was being watched halfway through his sentence. "I don't know what's going on. I'm going to my room." He walked to the door instead of portaling. "I'll be in shortly." I said as he hit the stairs.

"No Velnox you won't. With Zexion alive, you forfeit all position of authority. You have been demoted to Number Thirteen again." Xemnas smiled. "I'll then challenge Saix to a battle to the death. He WON'T make it out alive. If nobodies have no emotions, then you wouldn't possibly care." I smiled as well.

Xemnas and I stood there, staring each other down. Tensions were thick. Everyone nervous about the next one to breathe. They were worrying about Demyx

"You know what? I'm done. I'm going out, and you can't stop me." I opened a portal. "Larxene, it was real." I gave her a two-fingered salute. For once, not a sex reference and disappeared.

"We have emotions?"


	4. Chapter 4

2 years later…

"Come on Hexskia. I'm tired." Velnox grabbed his robe. "And why should I believe you? Xelvon, I think you joined Xemnas' group." She snatched his robe from him. "You're not finished. Mylexi didn't get any." Hexskia walked out of the room. "I'm tired of this. Everyday it's the same thing. They come in; I get naked. There IS such a thing as too much." Velnox aka Xelvon simpered as Mylexi came in. "You know the rule; drop em." She smiled as the boxers came down…

Velnox walked out of the room twitching, and breathing hard. "Dammit. Ya'll need to control your appetites." He sat down at the table with the eleven nobody women. "Well you have to realize, it's been a few years since a man has came around." Zaxir put her arms around the male nobody. She snuggled around his neck. Mylexi grabbed his neck, and starting kissing it. Relax girls; Xelvon isn't going anywhere. He promised us he'd stay." Hexskia picked up her eggs with her fork. "I don't usually get up this early. See, having a man around has an effect on me." She giggled. "Ya'll need to get out more." Xayken spoke up chewing her bacon. "That's coming from the "sister". The same nobody that sits on his lap constantly." Nerex rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a hypocrite."

OxOxOxOx

I feel I need to establish the female nobodys:

Hexskia The leader. My "Girlfriend"

Jexyss Number 2. The right hand girl. G-G-G-G-Gangta'. A great fighter

Xayken My sister NOTHING MORE!

Zaxir The freak

Xixia The Nerd

Nellax The tomboy

Atryx The girly girl

Eixzilez The bitch

Nerex The Slut

Axtherb The loud one. A hornball.

Mylexi The Quiet One Unless you get her drunk

Velnox has banged them all except Xayken. That's nasty.

A/N Not to break the break the fourth wall, but Hexskia really WAS my girlfriend. Xayken is REALLY my sister, Nellax is actually my brother's nobody's name, and Mylexi is the nobody of my other girlfriend's cousin. And nobody might not recognize this, but Axtherb is Bertha. The black chick that died from Robocop 2… or 3. I can't remember.

Remember this now

XoXoXoXo

"Say you'll never leave us Xelvon." Zaxir pleaded. I scratched my face. She climbed on me, and starting kissing me. "We JUST got finished. Are you trying to kill me?" I pushed her off. This was getting tiresome. I stood up, and just walked. "Where are you going?" Xixia inquired. "I'm just going for some air." I headed for the door of the not important enough to describe mansion. "He's probably going to leave again." Eixzilez rolled her eyes, and poured syrup on her waffles.

I sat on the porch, thinking of her. How could I? We nobodies don't have real emotions. Just false emotions that our bodies remember. I don't care. I felt, it was real. I never told anyone this before, but I remember. I remember how I used to stare at my GBA when I fought Larxene. Now, I have the "heart" of the real Larxene. I know, mushy stuff, but I feel mushy now. The writer is currently crying because of that movie Forrest Gump. Damn you Tom Hanks . The writer doesn't even care that he has horrible grammar. Right now he TRYING to progress the story. DAMN!

"Are you alright?" Xayken came out to comfort me. NOT IN THAT WAY PERVS! "Do you want to talk about it?" She sat on the couch beside me. "It's just that… I found somebody. Well, nobody, but my somebody wanted to be her nobody. Did that make sense?" I looked over at my sister who pretended to know what I was talking about. "You're a bad liar, you know that?" I smiled and gave her noogie noogie. "So if you care for her, why are you here?" She nudged me with her elbow. This is my place; with you all. There are more nobodies out there. And she's with the ones where I can't go." I just twiddled my thumbs. "So you did lie." She sounded sad. There is only one other set of nobodies, and those are the ones that belong with Xemnas." I bit my lip. "Tell me, what's your name over there Xelvon?" She started to cry. "They named me Velnox. If it's any consolation, Xemnas has a gay lover whom I threatened to kill. Not because they're gay though." I held her chin. "Aw, you know how to sweet talk a nobody." She moved my hand away, and punched me in the arm. "OW! What was that for?" I rubbed my arm. "It was for lying. You joined them, now you're tainted. You know that you can't stay now that I know." Xayken wiped her tears and stood up. "Are you ready?" I asked. "Like always." She teleported through the door.

"He's leaving again isn't he?" Mylexi asked Xayken. I will no longer refer to my sister in the nobody form. Kenya sat down at the breakfast table. "I guess you overdid it. He said he was tired." She started digging into her waffles. "And you let him escape? You better have a reason for letting him go." Jexyss stood up, and slammed her arms on the table. "Other than the obvious reason, he's my brother? Sometimes real family is a stronger bond than any sisterhood." She swallowed the chewed foodstuffs in her mouth. "Then you are forevermore banished until you find him." Kenya was drinking Orange Juice, ignoring Jexyss "Well I know where HE'S at, but I don't know where THAT place is. Hexskia, you might know." She smiled going after the bacon on Xixia's plate. "Then that's where we're going." Hexskia stood up, and the rest of her nobodies followed.

Velnox POV

"Members of the Organization. We meet our XIIIth and final member." Xemnas spoke even more slowly since last I saw him. "Wow, so I go on vacation for two years, and I get replaced? I stepped out of the shadows from behind Xemnas. "Velnox!" Saix didn't waste any time trying to attack me. I instantly moved to the side, and kneed him in the stomach. "Tsk-tsk Saix. Didn't you learn any manners in my absence?" I taunted the cerulean haired man. "No, I didn't learn any manners." He got up and dusted himself off. "But I learned a few tricks. I finally have preparation for your defense. He went into a DBZ-esque fighting stance. Are you ready?" Saix smiled, and -. He was gone. I underestimated his new fighting style, because he was able to lunge at me before I could even see it. I backed away as fast as I could, but he just stood behind me. "Boo." He laughed. And not a creepy forced laugh. He actually was enjoying my torment, but I don't blame him as I did the same. I turned around and glided a retreat, and as usual, Larxene came stumbling out of a portal. "DEMYX! GET YOUR FUCKING BLOWUP DOLL! I TRIP ON ANYTHING ELSE, IT'S GONE!" She stumbled out of the portal. I dropped to my knees. I didn't notice Saix had kneed me in the stomach. "Velnox!" Larxene eyes shot wide open. I couldn't tell if she was happy to see me or mad because I left. Saix raised his Claymore to slice my head off, kinda like a guillotine. "DIE!" He shouted in his lycan form.

The Claymore dropped.

Larxene charged.

"CLANK"

Kenya swooped in at the right moment, and blocked his attack. "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" She brought her left arm up swiftly to uppercut Saix. He quickly stepped back avoiding the tiny fist of power. Saix was still focused on Kenya, and me and was paying Larxene no attention. She landed a kick in his kidney, sending him flying towards Xemnas.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" A short blonde boy shouted from beside Saix. "Language!" Kenya walked over to the still hooded boy. "You need to watch your mouth." She pointed in the boy's face. He removed his hood, and she instantly shut up. "Sorry." He did his trademark pout. (Guess who. XP!) "Um, Kenya forgot what she was going to say. What's your name?" She twirled her hair. He smiled. "It's Roxas."

"Velnox, where were you?" Larxene punched my in the chest, forgetting I was already in pain. "Xayken! You found him. Finish the job." Hexskia walked in, followed by the rest of her group. Kenya turned to see Hexskia behind her. "Hold on Larxene. You can beat me up later, I have unfinished business." I limped over to my sister and my ex. "Xelvon, I knew you were lying. That's why I let you go. So you could lead me to Xemnas." She pointed to the silver haired nobody who was comforting Saix. He stood up. "What do you want with me?" He pissed me off more by speaking. "I want my heart. You stole what was rightfully mine, and I want it back." She summoned her weapon, the Forte Axe. "That was once upon a time." He summoned his lightsa-.

Random voice: Whispers in my ear

Me: I can't even say that?

RV: Whispers

Me: HE'LL SUE?! FUCK HIM! LET HIM SUE!  
RV: Whispers

Me: Well since he's gonna be a bitch about it.

Xemnas summoned his energy beams

Me: Happy now?

GL: Smiles and thumbs up

Xemnas flipped over Hexskia, and slashed at her back. She sent up a set of blocks, blocking his attack. He spun again, beams matching blocks. "STOP!" I shouted.

Fourth wall breakage, and relationships past. All wrapped up in crappy grammar. The next one will be worse, but it's needed.


	5. Cha Cha Slide! Everybody bust a nut!

Cha Cha Slide: Everybody bust a nut

Cha Cha Slide: Everybody bust a nut!

I limped over between Xemnas and Hexskia. "Nigga fuck you" I pointes at Xemnas. "and nigga fuck you. I don't belong to anyone. I could stab Xemnas in the face right now" I made a stabbity motion at his face, but with no knife. He didn't move. "and no one would care. If you bother to look, no one is here to care." I pointed around to the room, which was empty save for Roxas, Kenya, Hexskia, Xemnas, Larxene, Saix, and I.

"Hey Lunafag, you want Mansex? You can have him, right when we're through with him." I summoned my Archer Blade to finish the fight.

"But first, you have to earn your fight." He summoned his claymore and charged.

"Fine by me bitch, I never liked you anyway." I charged at him as well smirking at the thought of totally owning moonboy. (If you're trying to picture the moment, listen to 'The XIIIth Dilemma'. It's Velnox's theme song.

We both blocked each other's attacks. His claymore met my Archer Blade. Sparks flew off from the clashing metals. I raised my left leg to kick him in the chest, but he jumped back. Apparently he was ready for my style of dirty fighting. Before he hit the ground, I raised my weapon to about shoulder height, and launched an energy arrow. Saix caught it with ease.

"Idiot, you don't think I thought of that?" I facepalmed, but Saix just stood there looking confused. He looked down at the arrow, and it glowed a brighter shade of white. "Holiga" I muttered smiling at him. The arrow exploded into a pure clear light. Enough to kill several heartless and lesser nobodies. Too bad Saix wasn't a lesser nobody, well to me was, but that's not the point.

Saix came in from a portal behind me. He swung his claymore, but I dodged it. I ducked under his claymore and narrowly avoided the attack. The Divine Berserker, or whatever he's called kicked me in the stomach. I'll give him one thing, he's certainly faster than me. If I didn't end this quickly, I'd be in trouble…eventually.

I never really said where the others went did I? While Velnox and Saix (Top billing bitch!) battled it out downstairs, the other nobodies were upstairs flirting. Xigbar and his midlife crisis took Jexyss to his room. Xaldin and Axtherb disappeared as well. It seems they all paired up; Vexen and Mylexi, Lexeus and Nellax, Zexion and Xixia, Axel and Zaxir, Demyx and Atryx, even Marluxia and Nerex. All of them vanished. All that was left was Larxene and Ro- OH hell no, is he talking to my sister? I'll kill him later. Right now, I got to get back to the fight.

And so the fight went, matching blow for blow. Saix, being the faster one, could get his moves off faster, so Velnox was at a bit of a disadvantage. "Behold, the power of Saix's moon." Dammit, I let him get to a window. Now, unless I finish this, quick, he'll kill m-.

Saix knocked Velnox off his feet a few yards back. The lycanthrope dashed around wildly, swinging at whatever was near him. He broke the chairs and almost hit the spectators. A red and black aura surrounded his head. It was his berserk mode. He came at Velnox with full force swinging blindly, just hit whatever he felt was near him. The younger nobody took copious amounts of damage. He flew back and hit the edge barrier that prevented the rest from entering the fray. Saix dashed at Velnox again, using his eclipse move. The move would surely be Velnox's last…

Velnox teleported behind Saix. "My turn." He said slyly. A shadow moved from under Velnox to connect with Saix's. "Hm, it's over." Velnox turned his archer blade towards himself and impaled the spot where his heart used to be, (A/N Vexen: I'm so cold) having Saix do the same. The rupture in both the beings' membrane released black wisps of darkness. "We have until the end of my attack to kill each other, but you won't get the chance." Saix stumbled to the ground, unable to respond of counter.

Velnox's POV

I dashed at him with a higher speed than before. A trail of light was left behind me as I hit him. Instantly, I teleported in the reverse direction, hitting him again, with another trail of light. Once more and again, I kept hitting him with a flurry of physical charges. They weren't enough to do damage, but the speed of them was enough to keep him down. Back and forth I kept charging at him. The man could barely get to his feet by the time I hit him the next time. So I jumped in the air slightly, my speed ever increasing. It lifted Saix off the ground as well. So he was in the air getting pummeled and no way to recover.

"Finally" I thought as the hitting part came to its full speed. I was moving so fast afterimages of me were being seen. I alternated my attacks between charging at him and hitting him with my Holiga arrows. I zoomed past Saix, shooting him at the same time. Yeah, I know Xemnas uses that attack, but who do you think taught him that? One of the after images hit him in the air with a rocket powered mallet I copied from this dream world. Saix was knocked higher into the air. All projections of me disappeared as I stood in the middle. I didn't have much time left, so I threw my arms in the air. All the trails of light roared upwards towards Saix. Once one of them hit him, they all exploded into clouds of pure light. To make sure he didn't survive, I channeled all of my power into guiding the light to him. (lol, I mad a funny) The light shifted from clouds to a fine white haze. Everything got brighter and brighter, until I could no longer see him. I was blinded by light.

I fell to my knees, holding the spot where my heart used to be. Saix was face down on the floor. The wisps of darkness leaking from Saix's chest became full tendrils after my attack. I sighed. The threat was over. After I calmed myself in my mind, Saix's head lifted a little. "OH, COME ON!"


End file.
